Is it normal to seek out and create chaos and instability in ones life if that is all they have ever known ?

I have a great and understanding girlfriend with an extremely beautiful heart. She is everything I have ever wanted in my life. We come from two different worlds hers being one that has always been stable and loving. Her parents were together through their whole marrige and they lived in the same place her whole life. My childhood and early adult hood was very unstable and chaotic. My family wasn't very loving and I was told many times I was a mistake. My father would come and go in and out of my life as he pleased and Moved us around alot. I started drinking and doing drugs at the age of 10 because noone really cared enough to pay attention to what I was doing..... family , teachers or otherwise. I have been Diagnosed with clinical depression and PTSD due to the lack of love and compion I recieved as a child. I was mentally and physically abused By my father. I was also molested by a neighbor at the age of 12. I am extremely insecure and I have trust issues. I find myself creating