What are the reasonable responsibilities of a housewife that has a business owner self-employed ADD husband?

I am a housewife to my husband and our daughter who is 11. I babysit our grandson who is 4 all day. I pick up my daughter, grandaughter, and grandson after school and care for them until 6 or 7 when their mother or dad picks them up. Then it's just my husband, daughter and I. My husband has a flourishing business, but he is always losing something (daily), getting mad at his workers, and never balances his books with me. He just goes and goes and hopes that all works out in the end. We are a young business and have many pleased customers, but this is not our first rodeo. We have fizzled out 3 or 4 times before because of bad planning. My husband refuses to sit down on a regular basis to discuss the books and where the money is coming in at and going out at. I never know where we stand financially but every night, if things haven't gone well, I and my daughter get the brunt of his "I don't have time for you, your a thorn in my side attitude". I want to know what my responsibilities are as a mom and wife right now as far as keeping house and cooking dinner, running errands for my husband while I'm sitting our grandson among other things he wants me to do. Right now, I balance our check accounts, pay the bills, and all the other housewife duties. My husband has always thrived on hysteria and panicky situations and I am just exhausted after 15 years. I think he is ADD. Please help me, I am a nervous wreck.